


No Homo, bro

by seonghwx



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Lee Jihoon | Woozi & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Related, M/M, My Grades dropped cuz my brain can't function after writing this, No Plot/Plotless, Please Kill Me, Slow To Update, Stressed Lee Jihoon | Woozi, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Whining, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15417507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwx/pseuds/seonghwx
Summary: An au where Woozi and Hoshi are cousins, but Woozi's in love with Hoshi.That's still okay for Woozi, until he hears that Hoshi is gonna move from Gyeonggi-do to Seoul and live with him while they're attending Seoul Nationality University.After that, it's just one disaster after another for the duo and their friends.





	1. 일

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually just a really random idea that i decided to publish ._.  
> I really hope you guys will like it tho:))

"Oh. My. Goddd. What am I gonna do now, Seokie?"

"Well, how would I know? I'm not the one who likes his cousin."

"W-well it's not like I wished for it to happen, you asshat!"

"Nor did I wish for you to call me for relationship advice."

"Good point- I mean, shut up. Before I come over and kick your ass."

"Aish- why are we even talking over the phone when we literally live next door to each other?"

"I don't know. Cause why not?"

"Well, just come over. You making my phone bills more expensive the more you whine."

"HEY! I'm not whining, I'm-"

"Fine I'm coming over."

"Wait-"

"*beep beep beep*"

"Asshole just hung up on me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a short chapter... i'll try to make the next one longer. i promise you that. **cough wannaone ipu... so sed**


	2. 이

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some drama between bffs   
> *queues monsta x's dramarama in her head*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i cringed while writing. hope yall enjoy it tho.  
> also i wrote this at 3-4am, so uh it might be a little grammatically incorrect.

"Did you have to seriously have to hang up on me just to walk over? I mean we could've just continued talking over the phone?" Woozi whined from under his blanket on his bed.

"Oh, shut up you introverted beansprout. You need the physical company." Seokmin retorted from his place on Woozi's spin-y* desk chair. He had barged into Woozi's room and planted his ass on it after hanging up on him, knowing the passcode of his apartment's front door**.

"Then at least knock before barging into my home next time."

"Not like you do that either."

"Piss of, you homo."

"I know I'm a homo sapien. You're the homosexual here."

"Bitch-face you're the man-whore here, so shut the fuck up."

At that, Seokmin looked up from his phone, offended.

"It's Not likE I cHose To bE BorN pOpuLaR witH botH genDErs!" He looked thoughtful for a second. "At least it comes with some benefits. If not, I'd rather die and be a reborn as a puppy."

"So I could adopt you and train you to fetch my daily needs and groceries?"

"No, you cold-hearted ass! Aish, anyway, back to why I came over***. I'm here to help with him, not to have a stupid argument with you." Woozi fell silent and stopped squirming under the blankets at this. He pulled the covers off, exposing his face, and let out a loud sigh. 

"I'm worried, you know? He's coming in just two weeks. That’s like only 336 hours. Or 20,160 minutes. Or 1,209,600 seconds! What if he finds out that I like him? What if I began to like him sexually? What if- what if he doesn’t support gays like myself?! What if-"

Slap.

Woozi was stunned. He was so busy rambling about his worries that he hadn't noticed Seokmin moving, much less coming to slap him across the face.

"Will you just shut the fuck up and let me help?" Seokmin said through gritted teeth. His arms had dropped back down to his sides, but his body was still tensed, ready to slap- no, beat- some sense into Woozi if he had to. Woozi only whimpered, hands cupping his stinging cheek.

Seokmin took a few deep and shuddering breaths to try and calm himself down. Now calmer, he slowly bent down and sat on the bed, slowly pulling a whimpering woozi into his embrace, letting woozi lean against his chest as his whimpers became sniffles as the initial shock wore off and the pain of his friend's slap came flooding back.

"I'm so sorry Hoonie, I really am, but you need to clam down, okay? I'm sorry for slapping you so hard. It's just, I… I lost control of myself for a moment." He sighed, and Woozi only nodded, still sniffling.

He sighed inwardly, pulling the smaller boy into his lap, positioning the smaller's leg to wrap around his waist, an arm around the smaller's waist supporting his back and the other one cupping the injured cheek, gently brushing it with his thumb to try a soothe the pain.

"Jihoonie? Look at me, please?"

Woozi, who had been clutching Seokmin's shirt so tightly his knuckles had become white, slowly looked up at younger with teary eyes, bottom lip between his teeth.****

"I'm here for you, okay? I'll be here for you forever, as long as you need me. Try not to worry about the problems, because we'll cross the bridge when come to it together, okay? Promise me that please?"  
\---------------  
*: I'm sorry but I didn’t know what it was called, so I made it up #englishfails  
**: I forgot to mention that Seokmin is Woozi's bestfriend, yea?  
***: honestly I forgot what happened during the last chapter… lol I had to go back to the first chapter.  
****: uh yeah seokmin's actually 1 year younger than woozi…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fulfilled my promise and made this chapter longer:)) hopefully the chapters will become longer from now on...  
> time to sleep, gd day/gd night yall lovely peeps!!


	3. 삼

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its just a funny filler chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wait, warning cursing ahead, so if yall comment abt any shit, imma repot u to da fuzz, aka po lice.

Hoshi couldn’t believe it. He was going to live with his cousin in Seoul.

And he was leaving next week.

____________________

 **You**  
Oozii

  
**Boozii bunnii**  
Yea?

  
**You**  
*hyung  
Manners boii  
Im olderz than youu

  
**Boozii bunnii**  
then act like it  
anyways why u here

  
**You**  
Oh yea abt that  
Uhhhh I think im lost..?

  
**Boozii bunnii**  
Bij what omfg  
R u fkin srs  
Ok stay where u r  
whats ur address  
Im comin 4 ur ass  
and u bttr believe that u gonn be punished ltr

 **You**  
Ok fine whatever  
Just come and get me  
Im at xxxxxxxxxxxx

  
**Boozii bunnii**  
Ok be there soon  
_Seen_

____________________

"Boozii!!"

Woozi had just gotten off the taxi, only to be tackled by his over-excited and embarrassing cousin.

"Hyu- oOMF! GET OFF ME YOU'RE HEAVY!! AND WE'RE IN PUBLIC FOR PETE'S SAKE."

"Oh yeah oops, sorry little cousin." Hoshi chuckled, embarrassed. His relief to see his 'savior' had overcome him and made him to throw himself at the younger. Well, it wasn’t like he hated hugging the smaller. He was pretty huggable.

Wait what. He didn’t actually just think that, right?

Or did he?

____________________

  
**Woozi's POV**

_Shit shit shit shit-_

_My face is fucking burning. Like tomato red. Or red as Hoshi's hair is. Fuck, it looks really good on him, too._

"-ozii? Boozii? Anyone in there?"

Oops. Might have zoned out a little. "Stop calling me that!"

"Call you what? Boozii?"

"Well, yea duhhh."

"But it's cuteeee."

 _No. You're the one who's cute._ "No, it's not."

"Yes yes yes yes yes ye-"

"Okay! Fine! Just stop being so weird and start acting your age, you crackhead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would yall rather prefer update every 4 days with short chapters, or every week with longer chapters?
> 
> and oh my wot yall r the best!! i mean like thank you lovelyz for the kudos!! please continue reading!!
> 
> was that counted as shamelessly advertising my own story? no right? cuz i hav no idea lol
> 
> muah love yall ^3^


End file.
